My story: A tale of grit, determination, and not giving up.
Hello, I am Coach Simon.
When I was 20 I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
I was in Australia having the time of my life as an international student. After completing my university placement, I was travelling around the east coast when I had an accident which led to the shock discovery that I had a lump in my testicle.
After being told I had a 60%, and then 70% chance it was cancer, the news was finally confirmed during a sunny morning in Surfer’s Paradise over a phone call, while on my own, while the sun beat down and the ocean rose back and forth behind me.
The worst part of that day was still to come: calling my parents during the middle of the night in England to share the terrible news. It’s a moment I wish I could forget, but it’s haunting memory that lingers.
My parents reached me from London two days later, a matter of hours before I had my tumour removed. The sight of my mum, who had turned grey from the flight and the shock, is burned into my memory, as are the loving and comforting words she spoke to me.
The following days were a whirlwind; after being discharged from hospital, a scan revealed the cancer had spread to my stomach which meant I had to leave Australia to return to London where I eventually had three courses of chemotherapy. The treatment was brutal, but effective, and over the following months and years I rebuilt my life.
Sadly, fours year later I was stunned to be diagnosed with testicular cancer again.
The diagnosis was hard to come to terms with, but after the operation and treatment, I recovered and set my sights on completing the New York marathon, which I did, within a year of my second diagnosis.
The third diagnoses and the long road to parenthood
A further four years passed and I was caught up in life, work and planning for my wedding which was to be held a year later. I then received my third diagnosis.
Sadly this ended my hopes of fathering children naturally, which weighed heavily on me.
Fortunately time passed, I recovered from the operation, and my wife and I enjoyed the wedding day of our dreams.
As we planned our future, my wife and I knew it would be difficult to realise our dreams of becoming parents, but we were unaware of the arduous, traumatic and, at times, devastating journey we would face.
Going through IVF is horrible; my wife suffered terribly, and the heartaches of negative pregnancy tests after complicated fertility treatment plans was simply soul crushing.
But then on our fifth and final attempt we had a positive pregnancy test.
We couldn’t believe it, and I found it hard to dream that I might finally become a dad. As we both finally relaxed into the pregnancy, we approached our 20-week scan. The scan didn’t go ahead properly as were told our baby wasn’t in the right position and we were told to come back. No problem.
We returned at 23 weeks and were told there was a problem; our baby was smaller than it should be at that stage. We were then referred to a specialist hospital and told that our miracle child may be stillborn.
Being straight up, I was dumbfouded; I couldn’t and didn’t want to believe the news.
A new future
After an agonising five weeks, endless scans, emergency trips to the hospital as we couldn’t feel the baby kicking, the decision was made that our child would be born prematurely at 28 weeks and six days — around 11 weeks early.
Our darling daughter, Aria Rae, arrived with a tiny cry weighing 550 grams - just over a pound in January 2016.
Aria spent 12 weeks in hospital; many of those weeks in an incubator with wires attached to her tiny body.
After endless tests, brain scans and blood transfusions, she finally made it home to us.
And eight years on, Aria brings us joy, laughter and love.
While the past 20 years has brought pain, trauma, and devastation, it’s given me love, light and, importantly, lessons.
I know how difficult it is to remain strong when you feel weak. And to hold on when you want to let go. But I have learnt that the person that’s been there throughout: it’s me.
I’ve learnt that I’m stronger, determined and more powerful than I have given myself credit for. And I am channelling that for good, to change the way I see myself, and to help others so they can transform their lives.
I’m now telling my story to inspire others, and to let you know that you’re not alone.
You can and you will
You see, that person staring back in the mirror…you.
You’re showing up for you every day and are battling through with strength, conviction, and power.
Recognise your strength and determination and hold on. It will carry you forward and through the arduous journey you’re going through.
If you have grit and belief, you can keep going, keep fighting, knowing the storm will pass.
You can and you will.
Coach Simon
